Exploring Myers-Briggs and Polyamory
- Dion
- Sep 30, 2022
- 7 min read
Navigating Relationships with Personality Types
Human relationships are incredibly complex and diverse, with individuals expressing their unique preferences, needs, and desires. One approach to understanding personality differences is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), a widely used psychological tool that categorizes individuals into different personality types. The MBTI was developed in the 1940s by the mother-daughter duo Katharine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers to classify the various ways people perceive their environment and how they behave. This article explores the intersection between Myers-Briggs and polyamory, shedding light on how different personality types may approach and navigate polyamorous relationships.
Understanding Myers-Briggs:
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator categorizes individuals based on four dichotomies: extraversion (E) or introversion (I), sensing (S) or intuition (N), thinking (T) or feeling (F), and judging (J) or perceiving (P). These dichotomies combine to create 16 distinct personality types, each with its unique characteristics, strengths, and weaknesses. The MBTI provides insight into how individuals perceive and interact with the world, process information, make decisions, and communicate.
Exploring Polyamory:
Polyamory, a term derived from the Greek words "poly" (meaning many) and "amor" (meaning love), refers to the practice of having multiple simultaneous romantic and/or sexual relationships with the knowledge and consent of all involved parties. Polyamorous individuals seek to build connections with multiple partners, with the emphasis often placed on honesty, communication, and ethical non-monogamy. Polyamory recognizes that it is possible to love and form deep connections with multiple people simultaneously.

MBTI and Polyamory:
While the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator does not explicitly address polyamory, it can provide valuable insights into how different personality types may approach and navigate polyamorous relationships. Here, we'll explore how each of the four dichotomies might influence polyamorous dynamics:
Extraversion (E) vs. Introversion (I):
Extraverts
Extraverts tend to draw energy from social interactions and external stimuli. They are often outgoing, talkative, and enjoy being around others. In the context of polyamory, extraverts may thrive in the dynamic nature of having multiple partners. They may enjoy the opportunity to engage in social interactions, meet new people, and form connections. The social aspect of polyamory can be energizing for extraverts, as they can navigate the complexities of multiple relationships and interact with a diverse range of individuals. Additionally, extraverts may be comfortable communicating their desires, needs, and boundaries, which is vital in maintaining healthy and transparent polyamorous relationships.
Introverts
Introverts, on the other hand, tend to recharge by spending time alone or in smaller, intimate settings. They may prefer deep, meaningful connections with a select few rather than seeking a larger quantity of partners. In the context of polyamory, introverts may approach relationships with a focus on quality over quantity. They may value deep emotional connections and prioritize spending one-on-one time with their partners. Introverts may find comfort and fulfillment in having a few close partners with whom they can establish strong bonds and engage in meaningful conversations. However, introverts may need to ensure they have enough personal space and alone time to recharge, as the demands of managing multiple relationships can sometimes be overwhelming.
Balancing Extraversion and Introversion:
It's important to note that individuals can possess both extraverted and introverted tendencies to varying degrees, as personality traits exist on a spectrum. It's also worth mentioning that some individuals may fall under the category of ambiverts, displaying characteristics of both extraversion and introversion depending on the situation.

In polyamorous relationships, finding a balance between extraversion and introversion is crucial. Effective communication and understanding between partners with different preferences for socializing and alone time are vital. Extraverts should be mindful of providing space and understanding for their introverted partners to recharge and respect their need for solitude. Similarly, introverts should express their needs for alone time and establish boundaries to ensure they have the necessary space while also being attentive to the social needs of their extraverted partners.
Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N):
Sensing:
Individuals with a preference for sensing tend to focus on the present moment and rely on concrete, sensory information. They often pay attention to details, facts, and practical realities. In the context of polyamory, individuals with sensing preferences may approach relationships in a grounded and practical manner. They may appreciate the tangible aspects of their connections, such as physical intimacy, shared experiences, and activities. Sensing individuals may value stability and prefer clear boundaries within their polyamorous relationships. They may focus on building trust through consistent actions and may find comfort in the stability of established routines or agreements.
Intuition:
Those with a preference for intuition tend to focus on patterns, possibilities, and underlying meanings. They rely on their intuition and are more future-oriented. In the context of polyamory, individuals with intuition preferences may approach relationships with an emphasis on emotional and intellectual connections. They may seek partners who stimulate their curiosity and engage in deep conversations about ideas, values, and personal growth. Intuitive individuals may be drawn to exploring new possibilities and may be more open to unconventional relationship dynamics. They may be comfortable with ambiguity and more willing to adapt and evolve as their polyamorous relationships progress.
Balancing Sensing and Intuition:
Finding a balance between sensing and intuition within polyamory is important for creating harmonious and fulfilling relationships. Both perspectives bring unique strengths and perspectives to the table. Individuals with sensing preferences can ground the relationship in practicalities and ensure that the needs of all partners are met in tangible ways. They can provide stability and structure, which can be reassuring for their partners. Individuals with intuition preferences can bring a sense of exploration, growth, and a willingness to push boundaries within the relationship. They may encourage their partners to reflect on deeper meanings and embrace new possibilities.

Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F):
Thinking:
Individuals with a preference for thinking tend to make decisions based on logic, objective analysis, and rationality. They prioritize fairness, consistency, and clear boundaries in their relationships. In the context of polyamory, thinking individuals may approach their relationships with a logical mindset. They may emphasize the importance of open communication, honesty, and transparency in navigating the complexities of multiple partners. Thinking individuals may be inclined to establish clear guidelines and rules to ensure that all partners' needs and expectations are met. They may focus on problem-solving and may value autonomy and independence within their polyamorous relationships.
Feeling:
Those with a preference for feeling tend to make decisions based on personal values, empathy, and the impact on others' emotions. They prioritize harmony, emotional connection, and the well-being of others. In the context of polyamory, feeling individuals may approach their relationships with a focus on emotional connection and understanding. They may prioritize the feelings and needs of all partners involved, valuing empathy, compassion, and nurturing the emotional well-being of each person. Feeling individuals may be more attuned to the emotional dynamics within their polyamorous relationships and may place emphasis on creating a warm and supportive environment for all partners.
Balancing Thinking and Feeling:
Finding a balance between thinking and feeling preferences is crucial within polyamorous relationships. Both perspectives bring valuable insights and strengths to the table. Individuals with thinking preferences can contribute rationality, clear communication, and problem-solving skills to address challenges that arise within multiple relationships. They can ensure that decisions are made fairly and consider the needs of all involved. Individuals with feeling preferences bring empathy, emotional support, and a focus on creating a nurturing and harmonious environment for all partners. They can foster deep emotional connections and prioritize the well-being of the individuals involved.

Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P):
Judging:
Individuals with a preference for judging tend to prefer structure, organization, and planning. They like to have a clear framework and tend to be more decisive and focused on achieving goals. In the context of polyamory, individuals with judging preferences may approach their relationships with a desire for structure and organization. They may value clear agreements, schedules, and roles within their polyamorous relationships. Judging individuals may find comfort in establishing routines, rules, and boundaries to ensure stability and maintain a sense of order. They may prefer to have a clear understanding of expectations and strive to meet goals within their relationships.
Perceiving:
Those with a preference for perceiving tend to be more spontaneous, adaptable, and flexible. They enjoy exploring possibilities, remaining open to new experiences, and adapting to changing circumstances. In the context of polyamory, individuals with perceiving preferences may approach their relationships with a more open-ended and flexible mindset. They may be comfortable with ambiguity and enjoy the freedom to adapt their relationship dynamics as needed. Perceiving individuals may be more inclined to explore new possibilities, embrace spontaneity, and allow their relationships to evolve naturally over time.
Balancing Judging and Perceiving:
Finding a balance between judging and perceiving preferences is crucial within polyamorous relationships. Both perspectives bring unique strengths and perspectives to the table. Individuals with judging preferences can bring structure, organization, and goal-oriented planning to the relationship, ensuring that commitments and responsibilities are met. They can provide stability and maintain a sense of order. Individuals with perceiving preferences bring adaptability, openness to new experiences, and a willingness to embrace change within the relationship. They can foster a sense of freedom and allow the relationship dynamics to evolve naturally.
Exploring Myers-Briggs and Polyamory
Understanding the intersection of Myers-Briggs and polyamory can help individuals gain insights into their own preferences, strengths, and challenges when engaging in multiple relationships. It is important to remember that while personality types provide a useful framework, they do not dictate or limit an individual's capacity to explore polyamory. Each person's unique combination of traits and experiences influences their approach to relationships.
In the realm of polyamory, open communication, consent, and mutual respect are crucial, regardless of personality type. Recognizing and embracing diversity within polyamorous relationships allows for a more inclusive and understanding community.
It's important to note that not all individuals within a specific personality type will have the same approach to polyamory. The MBTI provides a general framework, but individuals may still have their unique preferences and needs. Therefore, it's essential to approach polyamorous relationships with open-mindedness and a willingness to learn and adapt.

Ultimately, the success of polyamorous relationships lies in the individuals involved and their commitment to self-reflection, growth, and effective communication. By understanding their own personality type and those of their partners, individuals can better navigate the complexities of polyamory, create fulfilling and harmonious connections with multiple partners and determine their own Axioms of Love.
Disclaimer: It's worth mentioning that the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator has its share of critics within the scientific community. Some argue that it oversimplifies the complexity of human personality and lacks empirical evidence. Therefore, while the MBTI can provide insights, it should be taken as a tool for self-reflection rather than an absolute truth.
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