Ennegram Types and Polyamory

The Enneagram is a powerful personality typing system that explores nine distinct personality types, each driven by core fears, desires, and motivations. You take take a free Enneagram Personality Test at the Enneagram Universe. The origins of the nine Enneagram types are somewhat complex and multifaceted. The Enneagram system itself has ancient roots and can be traced back to various spiritual and philosophical traditions. However, the modern interpretation and popularization of the Enneagram as a personality typing system can be attributed to several individuals and their contributions.

• Oscar Ichazo, a Bolivian-born philosopher and spiritual teacher, is often credited with introducing the Enneagram as a psychological and spiritual system in the 1950s and 1960s. Ichazo combined elements from various spiritual traditions, including Sufism, Christianity, and Buddhism, to develop his understanding of the nine basic personality types.

• Claudio Naranjo, a Chilean psychiatrist, played a significant role in bringing the Enneagram to the Western world. Naranjo expanded upon Ichazo's work and integrated psychological insights and therapeutic applications into the Enneagram system. He further developed the characterization of the nine types and their underlying motivations.

• Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson, co-founders of the Enneagram Institute, made significant contributions to the modern understanding and popularization of the Enneagram types. They synthesized various Enneagram teachings, expanded on the psychological aspects, and wrote influential books, including "The Wisdom of the Enneagram," which helped introduce the Enneagram to a broader audience.

While traditionally applied in the realm of personal growth and self-awareness, the Enneagram can also provide valuable insights when examining interpersonal dynamics within alternative relationship structures, such as polyamory. By examining the Enneagram types and their corresponding triads within the context of polyamory, we can gain valuable perspectives on how individuals of different types approach and navigate multiple relationships.

Enneagram Types

The Perfectionist (Type 1):

Perfectionists in a polyamorous setting might hold high standards for ethical non-monogamy and strive to ensure fairness, honesty, and justice within their multiple relationships. They may struggle with feelings of judgment and self-criticism, fearing that they or their partners are not living up to their ideals. Their growth lies in embracing flexibility and self-compassion while learning to balance their desire for structure and order with the inherent fluidity of polyamorous dynamics.

The Helper (Type 2):

Helpers in polyamory may be incredibly nurturing and attentive to the needs of their partners. They might thrive in a context where they can offer support, care, and emotional connection to multiple people. However, they should be mindful of their tendency to overextend themselves and neglect their own needs. Learning to set boundaries, practice self-care, and appreciate the importance of receiving support from others will contribute to their personal growth.

The Achiever (Type 3):

Achievers in a polyamorous context may excel at managing multiple relationships simultaneously, driven by their ambition and desire for success. They might strive to be the best partner to each individual and maintain an image of perfection. However, they may struggle with vulnerability and authentic self-expression. Their growth lies in allowing themselves to be seen and valued for who they truly are, rather than solely for their accomplishments or external validation.

The Individualist (Type 4):

Individualists in polyamory may find deep meaning and self-expression through their multiple relationships. They might embrace the opportunity to explore different aspects of their identity and experience intense emotions. However, they may also wrestle with feelings of envy, longing, and a fear of being ordinary. Their growth lies in finding contentment and appreciating the unique qualities of each connection while cultivating self-love and self-acceptance.

The Investigator (Type 5):

Investigators in a polyamorous context may approach their relationships with intellectual curiosity, seeking knowledge and understanding. They may value personal space and independence, relishing the opportunity for solitude and introspection. However, they should be mindful of their tendency to withdraw or become overly detached. Cultivating emotional intimacy and finding a balance between autonomy and connection can foster their personal growth.

The Loyalist (Type 6):

Loyalists in polyamory may deeply value trust, reliability, and security within their multiple relationships. They might be excellent at building a sense of stability and commitment. However, they may also experience anxiety and doubts, fearing abandonment or betrayal. Their growth lies in developing self-confidence, recognizing their own strengths, and cultivating trust in themselves and their partners.

The Enthusiast (Type 7):

Enthusiasts in a polyamorous context may thrive on variety, adventure, and new experiences within their relationships. They might enjoy exploring different connections and possibilities. However, they should be aware of their tendency to avoid difficult emotions and discomfort. Learning to stay present, address emotional challenges, and nurture depth in their relationships can contribute to their personal growth.

The Challenger (Type 8):

Challengers in polyamory may exhibit strong leadership qualities and a desire for authenticity and transparency. They may value open communication and directness within their multiple relationships. However, they should be mindful of their intensity and assertiveness, ensuring that their approach respects the autonomy and boundaries of their partners. Cultivating vulnerability, empathy, and understanding can foster their personal growth.

The Peacemaker (Type 9):

Peacemakers in a polyamorous context may excel at creating harmony and balance within their relationships. They might prioritize avoiding conflict and maintaining a sense of peace. However, they should be cautious of their tendency to suppress their own needs and desires, leading to feelings of complacency or disconnection. Their growth lies in asserting their boundaries, expressing their authentic selves, and actively engaging in the dynamics of their relationships.

Understanding the Enneagram types within a polyamorous context can provide valuable insights into how individuals might navigate and contribute to multiple relationships. Recognizing the strengths and challenges of each type enables individuals to cultivate self-awareness, develop healthier relationship patterns, and foster personal growth within the dynamic landscape of polyamory. By embracing self-acceptance, compassion, and open communication, individuals can create fulfilling and enriching connections in their polyamorous journey.

Enneagram Triads

Whenever I hear the word triad, I immediately shift to thinking about polyamory. As I reviewed Enneagrams, I was intrigued by how triad would be used. When applied to the realm of polyamory, the Enneagram triads — the Gut or Instinctive Triad, the Heart or Feeling Triad, and the Head or Thinking Triad — shed light on how different types navigate the complexities of multiple relationships. In this article, we will explore the Enneagram triads and their relevance within the context of polyamory, providing insights into emotional dynamics, growth opportunities, and interpersonal challenges.

Gut or Instinctive Triad:

The Gut or Instinctive Triad comprises Types 8, 9, and 1. These types primarily rely on their gut instincts and physical sensations to navigate their experiences and relationships. Within the realm of polyamory, the Gut Triad can manifest as follows:

Type 8 (The Challenger): Eights might trust their instincts to assert their desires and take charge of their relationships. They may provide stability and a sense of security to their partners.

Type 9 (The Peacemaker): Nines rely on their gut instincts to maintain harmony and avoid conflict in their multiple relationships. They prioritize creating a sense of peace and balance among their partners.

Type 1 (The Perfectionist): Ones trust their instincts to ensure ethical non-monogamy and strive for fairness and justice in their polyamorous dynamics. They may uphold high standards for themselves and their partners.

Heart or Feeling Triad:

The Heart or Feeling Triad includes Types 2, 3, and 4. Individuals in this triad predominantly engage with relationships through their emotions, desires, and interpersonal connections. In a polyamorous context, the Heart Triad might exhibit the following dynamics:

Type 2 (The Helper): Twos seek emotional connection and thrive on providing support and care to their multiple partners. However, they must be cautious of neglecting their own needs in the process.

Type 3 (The Achiever): Threes strive to excel in their relationships and meet the expectations of their partners. They value recognition and success, but they must also cultivate authenticity and avoid prioritizing an image over genuine connection.

Type 4 (The Individualist): Fours find personal fulfillment through deep emotional connections and the exploration of their unique identities within multiple relationships. They should embrace self-love and acceptance while managing any feelings of envy or longing.

Head or Thinking Triad:

The Head or Thinking Triad consists of Types 5, 6, and 7. These types predominantly engage with relationships through their thoughts, mental analysis, and cognitive strategies. Within polyamory, the Head Triad can manifest in the following ways:

Type 5 (The Investigator): Fives rely on their intellect and analysis to gather knowledge about their relationships and approach polyamory from a place of understanding. They value personal space and independence, but they should be mindful of withdrawing emotionally.

Type 6 (The Loyalist): Sixes utilize their thinking and mental processes to navigate the potential risks and challenges of polyamory. They prioritize trust, loyalty, and commitment in their multiple relationships.

Type 7 (The Enthusiast): Sevens engage with their relationships through their thoughts and mental agility. They seek pleasure, variety, and positive experiences within their polyamorous journey. However, they must be cautious of avoiding difficult emotions and addressing emotional challenges.

Understanding the Enneagram triads within the context of polyamory allows individuals to gain valuable insights into their emotional patterns, coping mechanisms, and growth opportunities in navigating multiple relationships. By developing self-awareness and recognizing the tendencies of their Enneagram type, individuals can foster open communication, emotional intelligence, and personal growth within their polyamorous journey. Applying the wisdom of the Enneagram triads to polyamory enhances relationship dynamics, promotes empathy, and cultivates authentic connections in this alternative relationship structure.

Exploring the Enneagram types and triads within a polyamorous context offers valuable insights into individual motivations, strengths, challenges, and growth areas. Understanding oneself and others through the Enneagram can facilitate self-awareness, compassion, and effective communication within multiple relationships. By embracing personal growth and maintaining open-heartedness, individuals can foster healthy and fulfilling connections in their polyamorous journey.