Different Types of Therapy and Schools of Thought for Polyamory

Therapy can be a powerful tool, but finding the right therapist is key, especially if you're polyamorous. Imagine entering therapy, only to find your therapist views your polyamorous relationships with skepticism. Frustrating, right?

Therapists are trained in a wide variety of philosophies and frameworks, and these influence their perspectives on relationships, power dynamics, and even what constitutes "healthy" behavior. Knowing a therapist’s school of thought can help you assess whether the therapist is likely to understand and support your relational style.

Understanding the different types of therapy and schools of thought can help you choose a therapist who aligns with your needs and preferences. By knowing the approach your therapist takes, you can better understand the techniques they use and how they can help you address your specific concerns. Essentially, learning about a therapist’s specific school of thought and training can go a long way to ensure that you will receive informed, respectful, and effective care.

Therapists can be trained in vastly different philosophies and schools of thought which may be reflected in their approaches and attitudes toward clients' issues.

Each therapeutic school has unique strengths that can address specific issues common in polyamorous relationships such as managing jealousy, unpacking shame/stigma, or navigating communication issues within a polycule. Here are a few common types of therapy and schools of thought that can be beneficial for polyamorous people:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that contribute to emotional distress. By understanding and modifying these thoughts, individuals can develop healthier coping mechanisms and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. CBT can especially help address jealousy, communication challenges, and boundary-setting in polyamorous relationships.

Why CBT Might Be Right for You:

• If you struggle with negative thinking patterns

• If you experience anxiety or stress

• If you want to improve your communication skills  

By addressing negative thoughts and behaviors, CBT can help you build resilience, improve your emotional well-being, and strengthen your relationships.  

Psychodynamic Therapy

Psychodynamic therapy explores unconscious motivations and past experiences that influence current behavior. By gaining insight into these underlying factors, individuals can develop healthier relationship patterns. Psychodynamic techniques can also help individuals and partners understand how their upbringing or attachment styles influence their polyamorous choices.

Why Psychodynamic Therapy Might Be Right for You:

• If you have a history of trauma or abuse

• If you struggle with unresolved emotional issues

• If you want to gain insight into your unconscious motivations

By understanding the unconscious roots of your behavior, psychodynamic therapy can help you develop healthier relationship patterns and improve your overall well-being.

Experiential Dynamic Therapy (EDT)

Similar to Psychodynamic Therapy, EDT focuses on exploring past experiences and developing new ways of relating to others. However,  EDT emphasizes directly experiencing and processing emotions in the present moment, often with the therapist taking a more active role to guide each session. By addressing past traumas and limiting beliefs, individuals can develop healthier patterns of behavior and improve their relationships in present circumstances. 

Why EDT Might Be Right for You:

• If you're interested in exploring your emotions and experiences

• If you want to develop a deeper understanding of yourself and your relationships

• If you're looking for a creative and expressive approach to therapy

• If you're open to experimenting with different ways of relating to others

EDT can be particularly helpful for polyamorous individuals who are seeking to deepen their emotional connections, explore their identity, and develop more authentic and fulfilling relationships.

Systems Therapy

Systems therapy examines the dynamics of the polyamorous system as a whole, focusing on the interactions and relationships between individuals. Systems therapy views relationships as interconnected and ever-changing, which is particularly helpful for understanding polyamorous constellations (polycules) and their unique challenges.

Why Systems Therapy Might Be Right for You:

• If you want to improve communication and conflict resolution within your polycule

• If you're struggling with boundary issues or jealousy

• If you want to strengthen the overall dynamics of your polyamorous relationships

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

EFT focuses on emotional connection and attachment within relationships. By identifying and addressing attachment-related issues, individuals can develop deeper emotional bonds and improve their ability to express and receive love.

Why EFT Might Be Right for You:

• If you want to deepen your emotional connection with your partners

• If you're struggling with attachment issues or intimacy problems

• If you want to improve your ability to express and receive love

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT emphasizes acceptance of difficult emotions and thoughts, as well as commitment to values-based action. By practicing mindfulness and acceptance, individuals can reduce stress, increase resilience, and live a more fulfilling life.

Why ACT Might Be Right for You:

• If you struggle with anxiety or stress

• If you want to develop greater mindfulness and acceptance

• If you want to live a more values-driven life

Humanistic/Client-Centered Therapies 

Humanistic approaches such as existentialist or Rogerian therapies emphasize self-determination, personal growth, and authenticity. These align well with polyamorous values like autonomy and intentional relationships.

Why Humanistic/Client-Centered Therapy Might Be Right for You:

• If you value a therapist who listens empathetically and non-judgmentally

• If you want to explore your own thoughts and feelings without external direction

• If you believe in your own ability to find solutions to your problems

Humanistic therapy emphasizes the inherent goodness and capacity for self-actualization in individuals. By providing a supportive and non-judgmental environment, therapists help clients develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their experiences. This approach can be particularly beneficial for polyamorous individuals who are seeking to explore their identity, values, and relationships in a safe and supportive space.

Sex-Positive Therapy

Sex-positive approaches directly affirm diverse sexual and relational expressions, and is often the most openly validating and supportive of polyamorous people.

Why Sex-Positive Therapy Might Be Right for You:

• If you have questions or concerns about your sexual health or relationships

• If you're exploring your sexuality or experimenting with new things

• If you're looking for a therapist who is open-minded and non-judgmental about your sexual experiences

Sex-positive therapy is a type of therapy that embraces a positive and non-judgmental attitude towards sexuality. Therapists who practice sex-positive therapy can help individuals explore their sexuality, address sexual concerns, and improve their sexual relationships. This can be particularly beneficial for polyamorous individuals who may have unique sexual needs and desires.

Some other schools, such as traditional psychoanalysis or conservative family therapy models, may be less equipped to handle polyamorous dynamics, potentially framing them as inherently unstable or detrimental. By knowing what to expect, polyamorous clients can advocate for their needs and recognize when a therapist’s approach isn’t a good fit.

Take a look at the Axioms of Love Business Directory to find therapists with expertise in meeting the needs to polyamorous individuals.

Would you like to know more about any of these therapies and how they can be applied to polyamorous relationships? Please comment below with any specific questions or requests.

This article represents a collaborative effort between myself and Antonius, founder of Axioms of Love. We leveraged our combined expertise to explore the diverse therapeutic approaches and schools of thought that can effectively support polyamorous individuals and couples.